The Duo Maxwell Show
by Goddess Shinigami
Summary: Love, Sex, and Spandex?. . .The Duo Maxwell show airs at random times on local cable acess channel 1131. . .
1. The Many Meanings of Justice

Disclaimer: Hell, what is you people's problem i'm poor. . .do you reall think i own this show? HELL NO!  
  
Goddess: Ummm. . .this came to me after reading one of Shinigami no Kamikaze's fics. . .(they're really funny) I hope she doesn kill me for taking her idea.. . .please please don't kill me!  
  
  
The Many Meanings of Justice  
By, Goddess Shinigami (idea from Shinigami no Kamikaze)  
  
  
~Far far away on some distant local acess channel. . .~  
  
*Duo walks into a room full of cardboard people sitting in studio seats.*  
  
"HEY, I thought this was a live taping."  
  
"It is,no one wanted to come so were computer imaging in to audience."  
  
"Ok, whatever you say producer lady."  
  
"Now, in 5. . .4. . .3 . . .(2). . .(1)."  
  
"Hi and welcome to the Duo Maxwell show. Today we will be talking about Chang Wufei's many usages of the word Justice."  
  
*a fake cheer comes from the speakers by the crowd*  
  
"Now, the word Justice only means one thing to us. What that is I do not know, but I will kindly tell you what it means to Wu-butt. For Example:  
  
There's no justice: Wufei has just walked in on Quatre crying over Fried Green Tomatoes.  
  
(chanting) Justice, Justice, Justice: He's doing imagination exercises in which the world is cleared of all the weak onnas.  
  
(singing) JUSTICE, JUSTICE, JUSTICE FIGHTER!: He's singing in the shower again and you should go and flush the toilet so that he gets burned to stop this horrible racket.  
  
Where is the Justice?: No one is listening to him and if someone doesn't soon he'll probably start singing again.  
  
WHERE IS THE JUSTICE: you haven't been listening to him rant at all today and he is threating to start singing again if you cannot repeat the last 47 words he has said. (Running would be a good way out of this.)  
  
JUSTICE. . . .JUSTICE. . . .JUSTICE. . .FIGHTER!: He has succeded in catching up to you to make you listen to him sing, but has run out of breath and has left you another chance to run.   
  
grrr. . .justice. . ..stupid onna . . .no justice: has just come across Sally Po piloting her mobile suit and has gotten his moody ass kicked because he was only on his motorcycle.  
  
JUSTICE!: has seen someone getting a ticket for jay walking and is elated by this display of "justice" and runs over to shake the police officer's hand.   
  
  
Grrrr. . .no JUSTICE: He hasn't seen a decent display of what he calls justice all day and- Oh hi Wufei. . .   
  
*Wufei walks into the studio*  
  
"WHERE IS THE JUSTICE IN THIS?"  
  
*he promply walks back out of the studio*  
  
See now that ment that he was very annoyind with me and that he was going to find a gun to shoot me with. Now on to our next phrase.   
  
*whispers to someone off stage*  
  
Well, it seems as if the only other phrase we have is weak onna. Ummm. . .lemme think . . .  
  
GOD DAMNED WEAK ONNA!: Is yelling at someone who has just touched his precious Gundam. . .Now he's going to have to wax it ten more times just for that one finger print.  
  
Weak onna: has just bumped into Sally Po again. . .this is said while checking her out and blowing her off at the same time. . .  
  
(muttering) weak onnas: Has walked by all the other pilots realaxing watching some tv. . .which happens to be a chick flick. . .  
  
Now, when the two phrases are combined there is a completly different meaning:  
  
THERE IS NO JUSTICE, THOSE WEAK ONNAS: Has just found out that it is not safe to screw your gundams and is going into withdraw after only a couple hours. Muttering things under his breath about how it should be ok. . .that they don't get time to screw anything else. . .those stupid scientists have screwed up again. . .  
  
Weak onna, you have no since of Justice: Is muttering to me while I french braid his hair with pink ribbons.  
  
  
I did that once it was really fun. . .*smiles* Well that's all for today kids, we'll be back next week with an entirely new idea. . .*evil grin* Buh Bye now.  
  
  
~OWARI~  
  
  
Ok that soo- sucked. . .It wasn't funny at all. . .I shouldn;t have even tried. . .we will have more episodes of the Duo Maxwell show soon. . .PLEASE R&R. . .. C&C BEGGED FOR. .   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Spandex and it's Many Uses

Disclaimer: Hell, what is you people's problem i'm poor. . .do you really think i own this show? HELL NO!  
  
Spandex and it's Many Uses  
By, Goddess Shinigami  
  
  
~Far far away on some distant local access channel. . .~  
  
*Duo walks into a room full of cardboard people sitting in studio seats.*  
  
"Didn't they find anyone to come and watch the show?"  
  
"Nope, but your on in about five seconds."  
  
*Duo takes a quick look in the mirrior straightening his braid*  
  
"And your on, Duo."  
  
"Today on the Duo Maxwell Show we'll will be discussing the many uses of spandex with my special guest Heero Yuy. Come on out Heero."  
  
*Heero walks out wearing his trademark spandex shorts and green tank top*  
  
"Please have a seat, Heero."  
  
"Hn. . ."  
  
"Now, I understand that you have been sporting the aforementiond spandex for quite sometime. Do you have more than one pair?"  
  
"No."  
  
*a gasp from the fake audience.*  
  
"Do you wash them?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Anyway, Heero, Why do you wear spandex."  
  
"Hn. . ."  
  
"Ummm. . .Thants not an answer."  
  
"Because, they don't get in the way."   
  
"OK, is there anything else you would like to say to us about spandex, Heero?"  
  
"There is no need for underware, but of course, I wear them."  
  
*nervous giggles from the fake audience*  
  
"Oh I see."  
  
*picks up a stack of letter from beside his chair.*  
  
"These uses of spandex have been sent in from people like you all across the county.  
  
Little Johnny Ross says: spandex makes for a great super hero costume and it never falls apart.  
  
*shuffles the stack and pick out another one*  
  
Elema Mae Patterson says: Spandex is great for wrapping food that's going in the freezer. . .your food will never get freezer burn again.  
  
"That woman must be whacked."  
  
"Yes, Heero she is and now to our next letter."  
  
Little Susie Robinson says: spandex is great for storing Barbie dolls. My dog never gets a hold of them now.  
  
*awwww coming from the still fake audience*  
  
"What is these people's problem. Spandex isn't posed to be used like this."  
  
*The word injustice is heard from offstand and Heero stomps offstage joining the "Justice Fighter" to complain about the show.*  
  
  
"Well, our special guest has apparently left for the moment. He'll regret that."  
  
*picks up last letter and reads over it before looking up at the audience eye's bulging. Heero was sitting smack dab in the middle holding up a cardboard Duo."  
  
"Ummm. . .I have to end the show now. tune in next time for many more odd happenings."  
  
*Duo ran off the stage and into the audience to ring Heero's neck.*  
  
*The camera close uped on the now discarded letter. It read: Spandex can also be used to keep certain someones out of your pants. Yes they can be that tight. Unfortunatly, they leave nothing to the imagination. So they can be used as a torture device also. Signed: Look in the Crowd.*  
  
*the Producer walks on stage*  
  
"I wonder what twisted his panties?"  
  
*the credits roll*  
  
  
~OWARI~  
  
ok that sucked too, but feel free to email me with ideas i love ideas. . .anyway R&R C&C BEGGED FOR!  
  
  
  
  



	3. Hair Spray, Hair Gel, & Mousse

Disclamer: I own the show. . .i do not however own the G-wing boys and the accompaning accessories. . .  
  
Hair Spray, Hair Gel, & Mousse  
By, Goddess Shinigami  
  
~Far far away on some distant local access channel. . .~  
  
*Duo walks into an empty studio except for the Justice Fighter and Spandex Boy his new sidekick*  
  
"Come on! The cardboard people were better than them!"  
  
"Well, we would have time to discuss this if you didn't always come in so late! You have five seconds till air!"  
  
"Look, lady, my hair takes some time to get this way. I have to look good for my public ya know!"  
  
*producer rolls her eyes*  
  
"Your on, Duo!"  
  
"Today on the Duo Maxwell Show we will be talking to my special guest Trowa Barton about his. . .unique hairstyle. We all know that there is a mystery about how his hair stays that way. Well, we're going to find out. Come on out Trowa."  
  
*Trowa walks out on stage and sits down. Everyone notices his fly is down, but no one tells him.*  
  
*giggles* "Now, Trowa. How long have you been sporting this lovely do?"  
  
"Since pu-uh since I was about five."  
  
"Have you ever told anyone the secret to your hairstyle?"  
  
"Quatre knows."  
  
"I see. Quatre I'm going to have to talk with you about this later. i can't believe you didn't tell me."  
  
*giggles coming from offstage*  
  
"Anyway, do you use a special kind of brush to achieve this style. I mean I know I have to use a especially stong one to get through this hair."  
  
*the producer rolls her eyes and Spandex Boy and Justice fighter both snort indignantly*  
  
"No, not really. It doesn't matter."  
  
"Oh. What about hair spray?"  
  
"Umm no no hairspray."  
  
*more giggles from offstage*  
  
"Mousse? I personally have never used that stuff in my life. . .too icky."  
  
"No, mousse isn't my thing."  
  
*more giggles coming from Quatre offstage. Justice Fighter and Spandex boy shoot him a Heery Yuy Death Glare.*  
  
"Come on! YOU"RE posed to be telling me the secret to your hair! You have to use hair gel then, right?"  
  
". . . ."  
  
*Quatre is now rolling on the floor in a giggling fit*  
  
"That is not an answer, Trowa. You're really starting to get on my nerves!"  
  
"In a way. . ."  
  
"In a way? In a way? What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"In a way I use hair gel."  
  
"Oh, now were getting somewhere."  
  
*Justice Fighter and Spandex Boy are tieing up and gagging Quatre so the incessant giggling will cease*  
  
"So, how do you in an way use hair gel?"  
  
"It's a hair gel like substance."  
  
"TROWA! Could you stop beating around the bush and just tell me?"  
  
"Do you really want to know?"  
  
"Of course I wanna know! That's the whole point of the show!"  
  
"It was? I wasn't informed."  
  
"TROWA!"  
  
"Hmm. . .well how can I say this? Umm. . .I use. . ."  
  
*Quatre breaks free from the Justice Fighter and Spandex Boy's grips and burst onto the stage.*  
  
"I'd thought you would've gotten it by now, Duo. Think, There's Something About Mary."  
  
"SPERM? EWWWW! TROWA! WHOSE?"  
  
"Uh. . .mine. . .and umm Quatre's sometimes. . ."  
  
"I umm have to go. Next week on the Duo Maxwell Show we'll be talking to Quatre about something. I have to go barf. Bye."  
  
*Quatre and Trowa start giggling and Justice Fighter and Spandex Boy walk off stage looking highly scandalized.*  
  
  
~OWARI~  
  
K . . . that was episode three. . .*smiles* I like this one. . . please read and review. . .I would love to hear any ideas you guys have too. . .*smiles* well TTFN. . .  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Tea and Fireside Chats

Disclaimer: Umm yeah I own Gundam Wing. . .and I own everything else. . .he he he. . .HELLO? ARE YOU IN THERE? I obviously don't own it if I did it would be back on Toonami!  
  
AN: Thanks to TapgirlKT for the idea. He he he. Love to everyone who had reviewed!  
  
  
Tea and Fireside Chats  
By, Goddess Shinigami  
  
  
~Far far away on some distant local access channel. . .~  
  
*Duo and Quatre walk into the Studio just as the cameras start rolling. Quatre is carrying a tray of tea.*  
  
"Hello and Welcome to the Duo Maxwell show. Today we will be talking to Quatre Raberba Winner about his. . .obsession with tea."  
  
"I'm not obsessed!"  
  
"Ya know Qua-chan, de nile isn't just a river in Egypt."  
  
"I'm NOT!"   
  
"Yes you are!"  
  
"Am not."  
  
"Are two."  
  
"Am not."  
  
'Forget this it's not the point of the show. Anyway, why do you like tea so much?"  
  
"My parents fed it to me in bottles instead of milk."  
  
"Oh. . .ok. . .that's really odd."  
  
"Don't disrespect my parents!"  
  
"I'm not. I'm not! Calm down. I think you've had a little too much tea today."  
  
*tries to take away the tea cup from Quatre and spots Justice Fighter, Spandex Boy, and The Sperminator in the audience and starts giggling at their newly found costumes. . .conveniently made of spandex.*  
  
"What? What is it Duo?"  
  
"Look in the audience."  
  
*he pointed to the three boys in color coordinated spandex costumes and picked up a cup of tea for himself. Quatre started giggling and drank some more tea*  
  
"OK. Sorry about that folks. That is just so ridiculous!"  
  
"And you say I have problems?"  
  
"Anyway, back to the tea."  
  
"What about it?"  
  
"Do you ever plan on stopping?"  
  
"Stopping what?"  
  
"Drinking tea. I think it's clogging your brain. You've never been this dense before."  
  
"Oh. No, tea is my life."  
  
"Ook. So umm. . .what do you have in your tea?"  
  
"Tea of course, sugar, and cream."  
  
"Oh. . .no wonder."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I dunno."  
  
*The Justice Fighter, Spandex Boy, and The Sperminator walk onstage.*  
  
"We thought we'd join your conversation."  
  
"Umm ok. . .While your here, why have you all become wanna be super heroes?"  
  
"WANNA BE? I AM THE ALMIGHTY JUSTICE FIGHTER!"  
  
*Wufei stands up and strikes a pose. Then grabs a cup of tea spilling half of it odwn his front. Duo laughed*  
  
"YOU YOU KISAMA FREAK!"  
  
"Uh huh. . .and how does that make you feel?"  
  
"Duo you're not a psychiatrist."  
  
"I know Qua-chan, but I HAD to ask!"  
  
"It makes me feel vulnerable."  
  
"Oh and do you have a recent fear of voices coming from your toothbrush?"  
  
"How did you know?"  
  
"Shinigami knows all and sees all."  
  
*Quatre and the rest of the G-boys all started laughing hysterically at this comment.*  
  
"Duo, you don't know everything."  
  
*Heero eyed Duo suggestively*  
  
"Heero! Not now!"  
  
"Umm. . .Duo?"  
  
"What I need to get back to my session with poor ickle Wuffie."  
  
"ICKLE? ICKLE? I AM IN NO WAY ICKLE AND DO NOT CALL ME WUFFIE!"  
  
"Whatever, you are afraid of bloody voices coming from your toothbrush!"  
  
"I thought you were sensitive to my fears?"  
  
"Oh come on. . ."  
  
*the credits start to roll and the producer comes out onstage*  
  
"Duo, you went completly off subject in this episode! If it happens again we'll have to fire you and hire someone else. Do you understand?"  
  
"Yes, ma'am. Well see ya next time when we will be talking to. . ."  
  
*looks at card in his hand*  
  
"RELENA?"  
  
*the screen fades to black*  
  
Umm that was episode four. . .I really need help!. . .*smiles* This episode was prettly long. I love you guy's ideas. . .please read and review. . .  
  
Goddess Shinigami  
  
  
  



	5. The Key to Heeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrooooooo

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, but I do own all the costumes and idea's used in this fic. *evil laugh*  
  
AN: Hmm. . .my lil bro's idea. I hate him. He's planning on writing a contridictory fic to this one called The Chang Wufei Show. . .grrrr. . .thank god he hasn't gotten around to it yet. I would get bad ratings.  
  
The Key to Heeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrooooooo  
By, Goddess Shinigami  
  
~Far far away on some distant local access channel. . .~  
  
*Duo walks on stage wearing vinyl pants and a tight black tank top. The Justice Fighter, Spandex Boy and the Sperminator stare at him.*  
  
"What? I HAD to look good for my Hee-chan."  
  
"Spandex Boy grins and blushes*  
  
"Duo, we already started rolling! You should really start being on time!"  
  
"Fine, fine, producer lady! Anyway, Hello and Welcome to the Duo Maxwell Show. Today we will be chatting with. . .Relena the bit-"  
  
"Duo! Don't you dare."  
  
"Grrrr. . .Relena Peacecraft about Heero and her death wish which I would kindly oblige. Come on out Relena."  
  
*Relena walks out escourted by Quatre in a maids outfit carring a rather large try of tea. Duo giggles*  
  
"Qua-chan?"  
  
"Yea, Duo?"  
  
"Why, are you dressed like that?"  
  
"Ask voice number six."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Voices in the author's head."  
  
"Oh. Anyway back to the task at hand."  
  
*Relena sat down in the chair next to Duo and Duo inched his away*  
  
"So, Relena, I understand you have a thing for my koi?"  
  
"YOUR KOI? I don't think so. Heero is mine."  
  
"Uh huh. So why does he keep saying he's gonna kill you?"  
  
"That's just the way he says 'I love you.'"  
  
"No, he says Ai shiteiru. I would know."  
  
"OK you little whore! What have you done to MY Heero."  
  
"Nothin Nothin. . ."  
  
*the super spandex trio all move closer to the stage to get a better view of the cat fight*  
  
"So, Relena how do you do that Heeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooooo thing?"  
  
"I can't tell it's reserved for Heero and Heero only."  
  
"Well, Heero's here."  
  
"Here? Where?"  
  
*Relena looks around the studio and spots Heero. She then proceeds with checking him out and earns her self a slap from Duo.*  
  
"Eyes off him. He's mine."  
  
"Oh yeah, well you did that Heero thing wrong. It's Heeeeeeerrrrrroooooooooooooo."  
  
"Ha! I got you to tell me."  
  
*Duo sticks his tongue out at her and gives her a great big raspberry.*  
  
"So anyway, whats with the death wish?"  
  
*Duo and Relena pick up a cup of tea and Quatre scurries out to bring some sugar and cream he had forgotten to bring out. His skirt flies up and he get a couple cat call from the super spandex trio especially The Sperminator*  
  
"I don't have one. I want peace for everyone. No one should have a death wish."  
  
"Well, you obviously do. Hitting on my koi, asking him to come and kill you, and checking him out in MY presence!"  
  
"First of all he is not your koi. I can change him so he will love me and not you. I have my feminine ways. I asked him to come and kill me, well, because umm. . .I can't tell you."  
  
"Uh huh sure you can't. Well maybe our special guest will know. Come on out Dorthey."  
  
*Dorthey walks out on stage in all leather and Relena stares (AN: EEP)*  
  
"I thought you weren't going to tell anyone!"  
  
"Well, I only told Duo."  
  
"Now, Dorthey. Could you tell the audience what you have told me?"  
  
"Oh sure. Relena is REALLY into S&M. She couldn't have Heero so. . .she got me instead."  
  
*various eww's and a 'thats disgusting' come from the super spandex trio*  
  
"DORTHEY! HOW COULD YOU!"  
  
*Dorthey slaps Relena across the face. Relena moans*  
  
"OK we don't need that one MY show. Could you two stop?"  
  
*Quatre who had come on stage to get the tea try drops it and runs off stage say something lik 'I think I'm gonna puke'*  
  
"OK. . .this is not a porno channel get up off the floor now!"  
  
*producer walks out and pulls the two now half dressed girls offstage*  
  
"OK. . .I wasn't expecting that to happen. Now what have we learned kids?"  
  
*coming from the super soandex trio*  
  
"Not to play with matches!"  
  
"Umm. . .close enough. That's all for today's show. I have no idea who were talking to next episode because I think I may have been fired. Umm. . .hopefully I'll see you next time on The Duo Maxwell Show!"  
  
*Duo waves and is glomped by Spandex boy, The Sperminator is chasing Quatre the stage maid trying to life up his skirt, and The Justice fighter's nose beigins to bleed as the screen fades to black and the credits roll*  
  
OK that was the snd of episode five. . .SCARY. . .I need help!. . .If you have any ideas I would really like to hear 'em! *smiles* please read and review and CC is very welcomed  
  
Goddess Shinigami  
  
  



	6. To shave or not to shave. That is the Qu...

Disclaimer: Come on people! I'm really gettin tired of havin to write a disclaimer. I don't on the damn rights to Gundam Wing!  
  
AN: Well, lets see, thanks to Yokokiller #7 she gave me the idea for the tpoic of the show the other day. Hmm. . .I am not responsible for any scary places this fic goes and there is a language warning on this chapter. My muse is to blame. I did leave him a tree two days ago!  
  
To shave or not to shave? That is the Question!  
By, Goddess Shinigami  
  
~Far far away on some distant local access channel . . .~  
  
*Duo strutted into the studio. . . .ON TIME!*  
  
"Holy shit! Duo, you're on time!"  
  
"Yeah, the owner of the station told me he'd take the show off the air if I wasn't on time."  
  
*the spandex trio gawked and Quatre the stage maid whisked Duo off to wardrobe*  
  
"So what do we do now?"  
  
"Dunno, spandex boy. Do you know who the special guest is today?"  
  
"Hmm. . .think about the title Justice Fighter."  
  
"What's the title, Sperminator?"  
  
"To shave or not to shave. That is the question."  
  
"To shave what?"  
  
*The Sperminator gave a suggestive grin and the Justice Fighter got a nose bleed and was rushed to the restroom too clog the rapidly bleeding nostril*  
  
"What did I do?"  
  
"I think it was the smile."  
  
"He he. . .I love giving him nosebleeds!"  
  
"Duo and I do it a lot, too."  
  
"the Sperminator eyed him. . ."  
  
"You must have a sore ass a lot."  
  
"I didn't mean it like that! Hey, at least my super hero name isn't The Sperminator!"  
  
"I can't help it. It's that stupid writer's fault. She's got some serious problems! I mean she has 13 voices in her head."  
  
"Only 13?"  
  
*They laughed and Duo finally walked onstage in his usual attire and hair newly braided.*  
  
"You're on in 5. . .4. . .3 . . .2 . . .1!"  
  
"Hi and welcome to the Duo Maxwell show. Today we will be talking to Treize Kushrenada. If you don't get why yet then you'll just have to find out! Come on out and join us Treize!"  
  
*Treize walks out in his usual odd uniform and knee high boots and sits next to Duo*  
  
"Good morning, Duo! How are you?"  
  
"Oh I'm fine and you?"  
  
"I'm okay sept these damn corns! Do you know how uncomfortable these shoes get?"  
  
"Umm. . .no and I don't really want to know."  
  
"Oh. Okay!"  
  
"So, what about those eyebrows?"  
  
"What about my eyebrows. I like them."  
  
"Thats the point of the show, Treize! Your eyebrows."  
  
"Oh, why?"  
  
"Dunno, writer's idea. So why don't you shave them?"  
  
"Why would I want to do that?"  
  
*Duo throws up his arms in frustration*  
  
"Because they're forked!"  
  
"They don't have forks in them."  
  
*Duo glares*  
  
"I'm writin a letter to the author about having dense tree huggers on my show!"  
  
"I'm not dense!"  
  
"Oh really? So why did you think I said you have forks in your eyebrows?"  
  
"I dunno. So why am I here?"  
  
"Grrrr. . .QUATRE!"  
  
*Quatre scurries onstage and is wearing a shorter maids outfit than before. The Sperminator "accicentally" shrunk it in the wash.*  
  
"Yea, Duo. What did you want? Some tea? I just made some recently."  
  
"No, not tea, I need a razor and quick!"  
  
*Quatre scurried offstage and Treize looked at Duo, terrified!*  
  
"Super Spandex Trio, could you tie him up please. We can't have him getting away!"  
  
*the super spandex trio run onstage and begin to tie up Treize.*  
  
"Oh, shit! You're not gonna do what I think you're gonna do, are you?"  
  
"Oh yeah, and when I'm through the world will be a better place!"  
  
"How will shaving my head make the world a better place?"  
  
"You are a complete idiot. I'm not gonna shave your head! I'm shaving your eyebrows. I told you they are forked. C'mon Relena got Dorthey to shave hers!"  
  
"Boys don't shave their eyebrows!"  
  
"Yes they do and yours are getting shaved!"  
  
"Hey, Spandex Boy, will you knock him out?"  
  
*Spandex boy walks over and kicks Treize in the head. Treize slumps over and Quatre comes in with shaveing cream and a razor handing it to Duo. Duo took it and put some shaving cream on Treize's eyebrows and shaving them to look normal*  
  
"I've done it! I've done it! YAY!"  
  
"Duo, calm down. We still have to go dump him in a dumpster somewhere so we can get rid of him!"  
  
"Oh, Wuffie, your so sweet!"  
  
"DO NOT CALL ME THAT!"  
  
"Oh ok, fei fei!"  
  
"MAXWELL!"  
  
*Zechs walks on stage*  
  
"Hey, I'll take him."  
  
"Ok just pick him up and carry him off."  
  
*Zechs picked up Treize and carried him out of the building.*  
  
"YAY NO MORE FORKED EYEBROWS!!!"  
  
"Duo, calm yourself or you won't have any energy for tonight!"  
  
"Heero? Have you lost your mind? Tis a full moon tonight and I will definalty have energy!"  
  
*Duo drags Heero into a nearby closet to make out.*  
  
"Well, this sucks ass."  
  
"Why is that Tro-chan?"  
  
"Oh Quatre! I forgot you were in that."  
  
"He he. . .damn that voice number six."  
  
*Sperminator chases Stage maid Quatre out of the camera's eyes and the producer walks onstage*  
  
"Well, I guess that means the show is over for now."  
  
*screen fades to black and the credits roll*  
  
^-^  
Ok that was the end of episode six! *smiles* I'm really having fin with this! Ok read and REVIEW people! Love Ya!  
  
Goddess Shinigami  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. The Man in the Iron Mask

Disclaimer: Come on people! I'm really gettin tired of havin to write a disclaimer. I don't on the damn rights to Gundam Wing! *crosses fingers* Maybe i will one day though. . .and yes I coined the title from a movie, but oh well.   
  
AN: Well, I know it's been a while, but I kinda started to write Harry Potter stuff and I got hooked. Sorry. Anyway, I apologize if this chapter isn't as good as the rest. My muse, Fonce, ran away with his new boyfriend and I can't get intouch with him.   
  
The Man in the Iron Mask  
By, Goddess Shinigami  
  
~Far far away on some distant local access channel . . .~  
  
*Duo walked into the studio just as the Director was calling out for the stand in*  
  
"I'm here! I'm here! And jeeze he doesn't look like me at all."  
  
*Duo looks the 'look alike' up and down*  
  
"That's just The Sperminator in a horrid wig. I can see his bangs hanging out! Go sit back in the 'audience' with the rest of the Spandex trio. Anyway, who is the guest today?"  
  
"Uh. . .Zechs."  
  
*the producer flipped through her planner and nodded*  
  
"Oh well. . .ok."  
  
"Your on in 5. . .4. . .3. . .2. . .1!"  
  
"Hi and welcome to the Duo Maxwell show. Out special guest today is Zechs Marquis. Come on out Zechs!"  
  
*Zechs walks out in purple plaid pants, a white wife beater, and his usual mask.*  
  
"Hi Zechs. . .what the hell are you wearing?"   
  
"You don't like my fashion statement?"  
  
"Oh it's a statement alright, but what it's saying I'm not sure!"  
  
"Hey, are we here to criticize my clothing choice? I don't think so!"  
  
"Actually. . ."  
  
*Duo picks up the big sign that says the title of this episode. It read "The topic of today's show is The Man in the Iron Mask"*  
  
"Yeah were talking about your fashion. What the hell is with that ugly helmet?"  
  
"It's to protect my identity."  
  
"Yeah, but you must get some outrageously horrid helmet hair!"  
  
"Oh no. . .not really. All i have to do is-"  
  
*Duo help up a hand in front of Zechs' face*  
  
"Please stop there. I DON'T want to hear how you keep your hair the way it is. I hear enough of that from the Sperminator over there."  
  
"Well, excuuuuse me!"  
  
"anyway, so doesn't your head smell by now? I mean all that sweat of the battle and your wearing that nasty helmet. You've gotta smell man."  
  
"No not really."  
  
"Zechs pulls off his helmet and holds it out to Duo.*  
  
"Wanna smell? It smeel kinds like Strawberries."  
  
"Uh no thanks."  
  
"Duo pushed it away and Zechs put it back on his head"  
  
"Doesn't it rust? I mean it is iron or some kind of metal right? So it has to rust."  
  
"Well, it has a few times and I had to call Noin or Treize in to help me get it off because it rusted to my head."   
  
*various laughs come from the Spandex trio and Quatre the stage maid brings out some tea.*  
  
"Thanks Quat. So how would you feel Zechs if we took away your helmet and didn't give it back to you?"  
  
"I'd feel naked and alone. I can't go on without my beloved helmet."  
  
*Duo signaled for the Spandex trio to come and hold Zechs down as he took off the helmet*  
  
"No now Zechs this if for your own good!"  
  
*Pulls out a slegde hamme and smashes the helmet to peices."  
  
"NOOOOOOO! You can't do that to my baby!"  
  
*The Spandex trio let Zechs go and he ran off stage and out the studio doors.*  
  
"Well, so much for that. Well, I guess I'd have to say this show is over, wouldn't you guys?"  
  
*Duo looked over at the Spandex trio and saw Quatre the stage maid with them. The Justice Fighter was ranting about something trying to get Spandex Boy to speak to him, Quatre the stage maid was in the Sperminator's lap. Duo smiled and took a running start glomping Spandex boy.*  
  
"Let's have some fun Hee-chan!"  
  
*The Justice Fighter got and got another nose bleed while Duo dragged Spndex boy to his dressing rom and Quatre the stage maid and The Sperminator were making out in the audiance. The producer walked on stage*  
  
"Well, I guess that's all folks. We have got to get some better guests. See ya next time on The Duo Maxwell Show."  
  
*screen fades to black*  
  
^.^  
That was episode seven. I'm sorry again that it took me so long. *smiles* Any suggestions for new guests. If you don't suggest anything. I might be forced to pick people's that aren't on Gundam Wing and. . .we'll have peoples like. . Rupert Grint or something *smiles* ttfn! 


End file.
